i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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