THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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