I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You ruined the universe
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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