so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
