You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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