dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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