Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
