i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
