My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
