we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
