Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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