She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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