Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
