It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
