dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
