Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
