just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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