at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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