we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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