maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We don't watch enough power rangers
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
