I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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