The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You just made me feel so damn special
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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