Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
