I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize