the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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