Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
