Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
