I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
