White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
