I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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