We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I smell stomach acid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
