do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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