The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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