The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
