Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
