i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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