He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
