I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize