I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I FOUND THE LEGS
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
