I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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