It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
