I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
