she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
