O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
