i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
