For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize