Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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