Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
