she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
