well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
