3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
