Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
