I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize