Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
