Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
