Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
