We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's just like the Real World with babies
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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