Already got asked if we're dating
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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