She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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