Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
