Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
