I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize