is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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